We’ve made suggestions to Jeff Bezos before about what to do with his hundreds of billions of dollars, and we’re certainly not the only ones doing this – but it seems like we’ve all been thinking small. While the public urged Bezos to end world hunger or buy vaccines for nearly two-thirds of the world’s population, Bezos was able to make every child’s wildest dream come true by installing a soft ice cream tap in their home for ice cream maker maker CVT Soft Serve.
The “what is the real thing. Crap? !? ”Part of CVT’s caption seems to express surprise that the billionaire would do this, but I’m honestly not sure why. Who wouldn’t want to have their own ice cream maker if they had all the money? If I were as rich as Bezos, I would be building an entire Golden Corral (which, as far as I remember, has soft serve machines and those delicious big jelly beans) next to my house. I might even be generous enough to let the public eat there for free – after all, ice cream is best when shared with others.
Of course, the online reaction to Bezos’ ice cream was hilarious. The Washingtonian pointed out that Amazon’s HQ2 design looks suspiciously like a soft serve cone (which is a much nicer mental image than imagining it as a poop emoji), and Vice reported the story in a tweet, that said, “Big Boy Jeff No More” has to leave his house for an ice cream. “And of course there have been countless references from Bo Burnham.
All of this begs a serious question: what is Jeff Bezos’ diet like? There are other billionaires known to have bizarre diets like Warren Buffet, who has ice cream for breakfast, tons of McDonald’s, and almost constantly drinks Coke. Will Bezos accompany him to breakfast ice cream or keep it as a special treat? The world needs answers to these questions.
Oh, and we asked CVT Soft Serve if we could interview the person who delivered the ice cream to Bezos. Unfortunately, the company informed us that they could not provide any details.